The Cause and Cure of Christian Codependency

The cause of Christian codependency is misunderstanding what God wants us to do and be in relationships. Codependents struggle with relationships with their spouses, parents, siblings, children, and friends. Some of these people have addictions to alcohol, drugs, sex, work, gambling or other things. They can also be people with difficult personalities, dependencies, mental illness, irresponsibility, abusive and/or dysfunctional characteristics.


Codependents are confused about how God wants them to love others and about what to do with the many complex dilemmas they are continually faced with. Often their misunderstandings of what they believe God wants them to do in relationships make the problem worse. They incorrectly believe that God wants them to give endlessly, tolerate everything, suffer willingly, appease repeatedly, and enable wrongdoing.

What is the cure of Christian codependency? It is understanding what God wants us to do and be in relationships. God wants us to love without enabling, give without compulsion, take care of ourselves and others, set boundaries, speak the truth in love, and take a stand against evil. Codependents overly focus on others and under focus on themselves. Codependents need to shift the focus off of others and onto themselves. They are not responsible for other people’s choices; they are responsible for their own choices which include how they respond to the difficult people in their lives and how they live their own lives.


What is the cause and cure of Christian codependency? The cause is believing God wants us to be other-centered. The cure is being self-centered by living our own lives differently and responsibly in the context of our relationships.